Being afraid of fear is a new thing for me. I mean sure, I have dealt with fear in the past, but I suppose I just accepted it and left it at that. Now though, I am afraid it. As odd as it may be, I think that I am scared of feeling lost — again — and that I am terrified of feeling like I have made the wrong decisions in life (mainly pertaining to college and relationships).
Good Lord, we all know that I am far from perfect, and I don’t expect perfection, but I also don’t expect me to make major screw-ups in the decision-making process. Things haven’t felt so right and exciting in so long, and I would hate to think that everyone else is right — that my choice of major will get me nowhere. Even worse, I am scared that my choice of major is the wrong one, even though I feel so confident about it.
I guess what you can say is, I would love some giant signs and flashing lights to tell me that I’m making the right decision. Any spares God?
Post Script: things would be much simpler if others could jump on the excitement train with me about my major; I am tired of getting that look every time I tell someone what I want to study. -_-